When I left work a few months ago...I thought the doctors were silly to think that I had something only 7 cm inside of me. I was sure that it had to be at least 10 cm. Now...many people have told me that they have cysts or fibroid that are larger than mine, I didn't think this was a competition. Now the question is...how did I not know I had something gigiantic trying to be a part of me.
This last week was an adventurous week leading up until the surgery. I got this nasty cough and cold that was going around...just bam I was hit hard and down for the count. In the back of my mind...I was like...is God trying to show me that I really need to learn what it is to relax and rest. Well...it worked. I was anxious to get moving but that was only because I had a list of things that I wanted to clear up before I was laid up, more of making sure the house was clean, laundry done, etc. I also had surgery prep. Which required no medications, pain meds, and other good stuff. Let's just say...it wasn't as ugly as it could've been. Wilbur was causing me pain all week...it was like a house guest making sure there was a reminder of what the pain felt like...that I know I wouldn't miss. My sinuses and chest was congested until Tuesday evening this week and Wednesday morning, I woke up like being sick was just last year.
The trip to the hospital was quiet...lots of unknowns. I really was trying not to have anxiety get the best of me. Darcy and I were trying to have fun...guessing how many friends I could make in my day in the hospital. Laughing about how overly persistant I was with the blood lab people that they really didn't want my blood. And then sucking up to the surgeons...who I might add were the best surgeons ever. I will just mention how they were awesome... Then as surgery was delayed 2 hours, Darcy helped pass the time in talking about what he was going to eat for breakfast once I got in. (I think that backfired and only made him more hungry waiting).
I have to say that morning and all the messages that came in pouring over my cell phone was just what I needed. Throughout the morning and how serious the nurses were talking...and the surgeons, I turned to Darcy and I was like for some reason this keeps sounding more serious than I am thinking and I was pretty anxious about it all, already. He agreed. But in that moment, I was blessed. Blessed to know that God knew my body and He got me this far without worse things happening and that whatever was to happen was in His plans.
I entertained the nurses and doctors up and until they drugged me up. I remember now that I still wanted to joke around but sadly the party was over when I fell asleep on them. I did get a good laugh out of them all when they asked me what I was there for. And besides the urges to tell them that I was having toe surgery. I let them know that they were removing Wilbur. If I was them when they saw that thing coming out...I would've not been surprised that we named the lump.
Short story on Wilbur, in September when they found the lovely lump, someone mentioned for something that big you should name it. It became great because it was a good code to use in asking how I felt most day. Some days Darcy and I would hate Wilbur and somedays I wondered where he went (don't worry...he wasn't missed that often) And for those that were wondering, yep I could feel Wilbur from just above my pelvis bone with my fingers, I was curious one night and after causing me to almost pass out I left him alone.
So recovery was good. I was pretty groggy and in pain but this is the moment I will never forget. My surgeons...Kendra and Claudia (up even on a first name bases) came up. She looks me straight in the eyes, and all wide eyed she says seriously. "Joelle, the fibroid was 'much' larger than any of us expected and what the ultrasound showed" It was 15 cm by 7 cm and then...she shows me a picture. Now usually time in recovery is a blur but remember the picture, the look on her face...and the painkillers.
When I got back to the unit and Darcy arrived I had to tell him to see his reaction...Wilbur was the size of a small child. He was just amazed. Later that night...when I had made good friends with the evening nurses, I asked to see the picture in my chart. The nurse was even, that is huge. It was so crazy. I am still amazed at the size.
I came up with this update...
Good news is that my alien baby delivered early this afternoon! Sadly, he didn't last very long! He was a big boy and rather larger than everyone expected coming in at a whooping 15 cm and 7 cm wide! That's a whole 6 inches by 3 inches! In comparison the uterus is normally 3 inches in diameter! I know too much information!
Now...I spent the night at the hospital trying to think...what would come close to comparing that size to put it into perspective. I came up with two grapefruits...a large zuchinini and then I started to google the size of a football, but that was a little large (we were thinking more of a size of a youth football) So last night, I had a thought...and now I am actually just wanting to go to the grocery store for this...but I think one the of the Pillsbury Dough baking treats (the tube of cinnamon buns)...would be pretty similar in size.
The night in the hospital was a little rough, my body seemingly was going through adjustments and adjusting to the gas that was trying to escape from my body (they pump me full of CO2). Another important lesson was that just advil alone...is not a miracle drug. Things hurt that for the amount of pain I have been in...I couldn't handle now. I was the annoying patient at night...that it seemed just as everyone went to sleep my body wanted to party. By 3 in the morning, I had other patients asking how I was doing. And by that point I was sure the nurses hated me. I apologized all night...even as I was refusing the morphine (my body couldn't handle it, my vitals would drop dangerously low) but I think they wanted me to stop complaining.
By morning...I did actually get a little sleep and everyone was back...the blood lab came...I was a little nicer about why they were taking more blood again (this time I learned it would allow me to go home). And later in the morning was discharged home. I was eager to get home.
I was looking forward to sleeping and having access to my own painkillers. I know some of you know that I don't like meds that much...but I was more on top of this than the nurses at most point in the hospital. I wasn't allowed to post this story on Facebook...but my mom almost passed out. Apparently she can't handle her daughter in pain, and on Wednesday night, the nurses wanted me to get up and I of course was a little stubborn and convinced them that I was good hanging out in bed(yep I even waited until my bladder was about to burst) ok...I guess I can flat out admit...I am stubborn. Well on Wednesday...I went from surgery to just Advil. I felt fine...if I didn't have to get out of bed. well...a mixture of my own stupidity about two minutes later I was demanding the painkillers. And then I was like...mom can you grab me water...well she never reacted...so I was like 'mom?' I look down my bed...and here she is with her head hanging over the rails of my bed, white, and sweaty...so as the nurses are making sure I am comfy...I was like...ah do you think you can get my mom some ice water? Then I was trying to take care of mom from bed...and yep she almost fainted. And then after we had a good laugh...she looks at me...and says in her good mom voice...Joelle, this is not to end up on Facebook!
So back to Miracles do happen...the awesome news is that yeah I had a huge gigantic tumor inside of me but in all that it could've been worse. I am healthy, I already have energy I didn't have two weeks ago. It didn't grow inside of my uterus, causing damage or making it unusable. I am fortunate that it was found. For those that have known me for a while I always get hit with something strange, it would bring me down for a few months and then I would bounce back. Or have a day that I can barely function, and most would convince me that it was stress (just so you know, I never was convinced of that). Every time it would be different so it was nothing connecting the dots to this. And thankful that I started cycling with Darcy, I would've never thought it was as serious or painful until the fun moments of almost passing out on the bike wouldn't validate a trip to the doctor to actually find something. I didn't expect that there would be any great healing, God didn't have that in mind when he wanted to bless me with the reality of that there really was something that wasn't normal inside of you. And it makes for a great story...I have a new really crazy story to tell. And a you wouldn't believe it...
I have been given strict instructions to take it easy...and to reassure everyone I promise to take it easy I will ask for help and if I don't, I give permission for people to bug me.
I also appreciate those that have stopped by even with food to make sure I eat. Yesterday I managed to convince myself that I ate lots. Well as it turns out...reality is now I don't think I did. Darcy and mom left me for the afternoon and Jill and Brendan showed up with chili and scones. I was like...I ate half, some of the chili and half a scone...well when there are leftovers involved and if anyone looked after, there was about 1/4 cup of chili gone and two bites of the scone. It makes for a good laugh when I innocently thought I did really good. Even those that have sent text messages, it is great! Darcy has been fabulous...we have a chart for pain killers and even though the first day I was home...we both had crashed and fell asleep on couches downstairs, we both needed it. We looked like a huge weight was lifted off both of us (about 15 cm of weight). We are looking forward to things getting back to normal so we can hit the ground running or as we cyclist look at it...hit the road riding. Darcy is already thinking I am going to crush him this Summer on the bike, I have been mentally training by watching all the Tours and Classic racing on TV, so watch out.
Thanks again for all the prayers and encouragement. You all are awesome! I am open for visitors, it is great to make the days go by faster. I am up for coffee or tea!
