So as I promised I was good, these last six weeks I have managed to milk it good...real good! I still find that I am not fully back to where I want to be...but I am trying each day to feel normal and back together.
I had my follow up doctors appointment the other day...I woke up in the morning anxious and I don't get anxious very often but my mind was swirling.
I got to the doctors and for some reason the clinic was packed that day...but thankfully I made my way in then reality hit. For some of you I didn't mention that a fibroid is a tumor, using that word makes everyone panic and then make me wonder things I shouldn't wonder. But even being diagnosed with it and knowing it was a tumor, I keep remembering God's words. Trust me...and know that you are my child. I remember thinking in the 30 seconds that I had that God told me not to dwell on the negative and focus on serving Him, to be who He made me to be. The doctor said to me, so you are probably wondering what we found in your tumor? I tried not to have a blank stare flash across my face...because I completely forgot about that part of it. As she shared the results, the tumor was completely free of any cancer. That C word, is something I never thought I would come across in my life! Hearing that it isn't there was a relief and being reminded of trusting God each step of the journey, is a promise that I would never forget. It is so easy to fret, and so easy to be anxious but more importantly, those things are out of your control that you just have to give it up to God, and let Him take care of you, and let you live your life on the journey that He has for you.
God is amazing that way, if you think that others are closing the doors for you...trust that God will show you that way out. But often He will keep you there working with closed doors to show you that you are where He wants you to be. You are not suffering and you are not to look for the way out, that would be too easy. But trust that God will open doors, and that those that are closing them will seek out God.
God is always up to amazing things, He shows us in miracles that we don't think happen and He shows us through others and He uses you to share the stories of redepmtion.