So it comes to the point in wedding planning that the families start to stress out! I think that they are just as panicked as it comes to those getting married, are we ready for this.
The hardest thing for a mother to do, is to let their children grow up. Sure it happens but meanwhile, they are convinced while they are still not married, they still have the sense of parenting a child. My mother, it is almost daily, we have a great conversation as friends, and then something turns in her, and I am being scolded for moving a box, or for washing the dishes the wrong way. Then the best is that she tries to tell me what do because that is the best way to do it! Then comes wedding planning. I have come to practice the phrase, "Thanks mom for the advice, but Darcy & I are planning our wedding, we will do what we feel is best" yep my mom has freaked out, from being surprised that we are actually engaged, to fact that we are not thinking in planning a wedding in less than 90 days. I am sure she wants to say it....but I hear under her breathe...Are you outta your mind???
Parents have a way to being happy for you, and in the same sense, don't know how to handle the emotions that there is someone else, someone new there to take care of their child, it isn't just like leaving them at the babysitters, it is their new best friend, their new lifemate, and there new partner in life. Sure parents will always be there, but their role changes and for some, they are not ready for that. They can tell themselves that they are happy, but are they really.
Now for us ladies, imagine if you had a little boy, that grew up to be a handsome, intelligent young man, he meets the woman of his dreams. Gets married. Your little boy, is yours but he is not your child to reprimand, you better hope that you raised him to make the right choices in life, that he made the right choice in choosing his life partner, that he won't come to you for advice anymore, as he lives a life with someone else and moves on. Are you ok with that? Or is there a twinge of sadness, lost, and insecurities? I think that it is a mourning time, and actions will be done that are not done intentionally. hurtful things are going to be said, guilt trips, being passive they are all ways that some people cope.
The thing in this, that the bible tells us as parents, that we need to be 'leaving and cleaving' as children we are aware and respectful of that, helping parents to see what that looks like. As a new family, the groom needs to be able to help his mom work through it, as the bride, she needs to help her parents work through that transition. that's why the groom asks who gives her over to the groom, the parents are releasing her and entrusting her groom to be that life partner, and experience a new life together. In the same token, the groom's parents are trusting they have done what they can and experiencing a new experience, in gaining a daughter they never had and starting this life fresh and figuring out this new couple in their family.
I respect what our parents are going through, though the hurts and the expectations don't make the situation easier, I feel that in leaving and cleaving, honour the parents and respect the new couple addition to your family!