Surrender...

Well, God has had me on a journey, a journey of trusting Him with what he has prepared for my life.

Trusting God to me, is a strong reflection in my faith, and the element of surrender. 

I looked at the fears I have in my life and what they were holding me back from having faith and trusting in God.  Overall I am a cautious person, I look both ways and then sneak a peek just to be sure, I go over to ensure that I covered all the details of a report, I don't jump until I know the results of why I will jump.  I like to know my facts, in some cases, I just go with the flow, that I know that I can change up on what and how I do it, I love to fly by the seat of my pants, and I love surprising people and taking risks.

I realize that I hold on to my fears, not necessarily for comfort but I am afraid to screw up, I have fears of rejection, and fears of commitment.  Two opposite things, I either can't stand to jump in, or I am too afraid to jump deeper.

Do I think God can change?
Yes, I totally believe God can change your heart, letting go of what burdens you and pressing on towards the goal, to finish the race. 

I have been baring my soul to God this month, I feel that I have to bare my soul, to be vulnerable, to know that as God's child, He will not let me fall, or get hurt, that He will only pick me up, or encourage me to move in the right direction.

I am fortunate to see God in all things in my life, in the blessings, big or little, but still in the art of full surrender I know my God will take care of me!

I am imperfect!  I am loved!  I am a child of God!  I am will not let anything hold me back!

Funny stuff!

So I thought I would get right into the Christmas season with the spectacular performance of the Hallelujah Chorus, and to top it off...welcome to my world, I don't think I need to add anymore about the 80's Dating Video.

Ever have a bad experience?

Christmas Spirit

It's about time!

Hey there!

I feel that I have been delinquent in my blogging relationships to you all.  Not that nothing is happening, there is lots, I just felt overwhelmed and not sure what to say, what to do and how I feel.  Wow...yes...emotions and thoughts all over the board!  So sit back get a good coffee, perhaps even a snack...this might go on for a while!


So I removed myself to a new environment, I am sitting in Starbucks, listening to Christmas music...enjoying my Red Cup dark roast coffee.  Now this is the life of bliss.

Today I had to get out of town, so I headed to a little town in the mountains called Canmore.  It was truly a great drive, and I really have too much fun spending time by myself (weird I know) but sometimes you just need the time to process those thoughts in your head, listen to God and write things down.

So my life in the past four months...oh no I didn't realize that it was that long...this could be a long update!

Summer was great, it was a time of adjusting into life...cooler temperatures (than what I was use to) as Calgary experienced its coolest Summer (in other words...Summer never really happened).  Adjusted to working full time and working with a team of women (compared to the team of men in NBO).

September happened...not too sure what to say about that.  Ministry started in full swing...FULL swing!  How can I not exaggerate it?  I apparently being out of practice of the hectic busy life of a North American, had our Children's ministry to manage, as well as starting up a bible study, to also attending a bible study and also attending weekly Financial classes.  Now, that was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday filled up, not to mention the standing date of Thursday nights!  Friday ended up being my recovery night!!  Don't normal people go out on Friday nights?  I know...I know...you ask how I can be overwhelmed with a schedule like that?  Only a North American would wonder...those in Kenya, can you handle it?  My life in Kenya, was at most...hang out with the Gottfried's Thursday night, once a month hang out with the Robert's, planned one Singles activity per month, worked 9 - 4 pm Monday to Friday, Church happened once a week, and went grocery shopping.  That was all...so to come back even a few months later...to do all this in one week...was a little overwhelming.  I didn't do well in September...life wasn't good!

October came and went...yeah...anyone else feel that it just flew by?  October was my 32nd birthday...yes it came and went, it was briefly celebrated but its ok...it was busy...busy!   Oh and Summer showed up...it was beautiful for a week or two, like I could still wear flip flops until the end of October.

Happy 32nd Birthday Joelle!!!  

(yes I took a picture of me on my birthday on my way to work...but not while I was driving...)

Thanksgiving weekend (Oct 9th -11th) my good friend Cam got married to Katie, this was more than a celebration of the two of them...we thought Cam would never get married and God proved miracles do happen.

Cam and Katie 2010

So this I am pretty excited about the new dress I got for the wedding!

Here I am with my friend Des

The rest of October was really a blur, I was still busy with work, I planned a fantastic Family event at our church the weekend of Halloween, it was splendid.  For some of the larger events that I have planned in retreats, starting to plan the conference in Kenya and now to doing a family outreach event for our church and community, I think I have a new heart for event planning.  The event that our department put on had over 800 people, kids and parents come to enjoy a free evening of fun!  this was the largest turn out that we have ever had for something like this.  I was amazed and in wonder at the response we had, it was truly God at work in our church!

So something I am pretty excited about, this is one of the things that I am unsure about telling earlier but this rightfully sums up the last three months nicely.  I have been on a journey, as much as I have filled up my time with getting back in the busy of life...or life keeping me busy!  My journey has been quite exciting and this would've been something great to blog about, to encourage others and to encourage myself as one day I look back.  But I have been trying to take care of my body, ok I can't say trying cause I have been quite successful at it, as of the beginning of November I have lost 40 lbs since August, I am about 10-15 lbs away from my goal, I added five pounds to my goal because it is going so well.  I would tell you how I am doing it...but I have learned that come with lots of harrassment and being made fun of...lets just say I am really good about shopping on one side of the grocery store in the produce and meat aisles.  (yes veggies and protein)

so this is me now...in Starbucks after a long day...but to capture the moment!

I really wished I had a full body photo to show you how much of a change there has been but I don't have one.  To put it in reality for some, I have lost about 1/2 my size I was in May 2010.  Seriously, no joke!  I am amazed myself of how much of a change there has been and how crazy of how my body is so different.  I have had people unable to recognize me at times, then I also got a new hair cut that didn't help people either.  Now you ask, why did I go for this drastic change?  Well all of you know that I am single...ha gotcha I didn't do this to find a guy, nor I did it to be accepted.  Most of you know I was quite happy and content with myself.  Well I didn't do it for those reasons, I did it for my health.  when I returned from Nairobi, I was hit with the news that I had high cholesterol, I was shocked and prayed about what I was going to do.  the doctor ordered that I was to eat more oatmeal, eat healthier.  As I was trying to figure this out, I was already changing my eating styles...when I had the test done I was doing a cleanse eating lots of fibre.  So as I started working at the church, I found that there were ladies around me that were losing lots of weight.  I asked around and found them following a crazy diet, but I thought...it was too drastic but God said, just do it, you need to do it.  So I started to eat better in August 12 and a half weeks later I am down 40 lbs, the goal of this is that I will be able to control my eating and my body will adjust to what it eats eventually!!

 

November has come and it is freezing...ok, -1 degree C is freezing in my world.  I think I remember saying this a few times in my last year "I don't do Winter" ...well apparently it isn't winter yet and I don't do COLD weather.  I have been freezing for the past two weeks.  Unable to get warm and cozy!

 

I guess I should do the update for those that are wondering about my single life, it is still single, I am very content and happy to be single!  I haven't had too much happen on the dating side of life and to be honest I have asked God today where he wants me to be, so I am seeking guidance and direction on my life. 

 

There is also more going on in my family that I will let on more in another blog, but the decision has been made that I am going to stay living at home with my parents for the next year.  This comes as my dad isn't doing as well, and is having a hard time getting around as his MS has gotten progressively worse over the last few months.  Prayer for that would be appreciated.

And that is all for now...I know this is pretty lengthy but hopefully you enjoyed a good coffee while reading this or enjoyed a good snack!

I miss all those in Kenya, I hope life is treating you well!  I love keeping up with your blogs and praying for you as I think of you (on really cold days).

be blessed!