Come to light certain articles lately about a Youth Pastor
becoming a Felon, Rape, because the victim has sin in her life, and
abuse/affairs in the Christian circle. I
have thoughts on the subject, and I fear that no matter what policies are in
place no one is safe from being sucked in, or from being the accused.
Life happens. Youth
are vulnerable, almost more vulnerable than your toddler. They are looking for acceptance, love,
relationships, figuring out who they are, and want a role model. I am sure that the list will go on and on but
this list, especially for the female youth in the ages of 11 – 21. I am going to cover a side of Parents and
those that work with youth, either in a ministry setting or those that spend 40
hours of the week with your child.
Parents, now in my years working with youth ministries, I
don't want to say that parents define your kids but they do. Your child, just wants to be loved. I know as an adult now…when I am grumpy, I
just need to be loved by my husband, a good cry and a good cuddle makes the world
turn for me. Something I never had as a
child from my father. Someone to assure
that life is ok, that it's ok to cry, that doesn't leave me to wonder if it is
ok to cry or that everything will be ok.
Dad's as much as you don't relate to little girls, many parts of
relationships, your little girl just wants to be loved, and to know that daddy
is going to take care of everything, you’re the world's superhero to her. For little boys, they don't know that they
need to be loved, but they do but then there is fine line of boundaries of that
love…because they are looking to gain respect.
That day that they can carry just as much as dad, cut the grass, start
the car, etc. They are going to puff
their chest to know that they are trusted, overall respected to feel love from
their parents. Children, also need
authority in their lives. If you have
given your child an iPod for a gift, are you going to let them have a new
'relationship' where they spend 24 hours on it?
Or will you give it with rules attached?
All this needs to be in your household.
Many tests and studies show that children don't know how to make a
decision, unless there are consequences.
They don't learn responsibility unless they know their decisions affect
others, their family, or friends.
In comes the case of the children that don't know love,
respect, responsibilities, consequences, etc.
They go looking for it all to be accepted. In our day of social media, we have Facebook,
Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, and other social media sources where we have
defined acceptance by the LIKE button.
It's easy to post a photo of one self, to see how many 'likes' you get,
comments of how gorgeous and beautiful one is, but those same people wouldn't
dare say it to your face. But what if
that Youth Pastor, male teacher or someone's dad liked the photo, would you
think creepy? flatter? finally acceptance or feel loved? Did you know that when you posted the photo…who
will be looking at your photo?
Adults that invest in the lives of students, do you know
what you are looking at each day is adultery on your spouse? Not that you know that but how healthy is it
for you to follow that teenage girl on instagram, or facebook, when that
teenage is displaying their lives looking for love and acceptance. Have you thought about liking that photo on
instagram? I have followed youth on
instagram for a few years now, I am appalled and disgusted by some of the
things I see posted, and my first thought is there are guys I know that are
looking at this. When the selfie starts
to include cleavage, kissy faces, sexy posses, it becomes a problem for
you. Are you able to disconnect from
that? Do you realize that it is a form
of porn that is coming across your phone that your spouse has no clue
about? We all know that a cry for help
on facebook by anyone, is looking for attention? It could be a lack of it from home, it could
be a legit cry for help but are you the one to tell them you care and love
them? Or are you the one to include the
parents to help the family connect.
If there was Facebook back when I was a teen, I am not
sure what I would've posted. I was
always told that we needed to look like a happy family. It was complete opposite of that of a
'perfect' family, I had sleepless nights, not because I couldn't sleep but
because I was up praying for my family, praying for safety. I wondered why my dad didn't love me, why he
wouldn't turn his back on me in times of need but instead of looking for human
love, I turned to God, my peers and choose to make the best of my life, to be
who God wanted me to be. But that didn't
just happen, it was a way for me to live life into adulthood. I know I missed out on a gift from my father
here but God was a way for me to become who I am today. I cried out to God…I heard him say, I am here
for you.
Parents, don't forget to love your children, and adults,
don't forget to let parents love the children you serve as you are the role
model, you are not their friend, buddy, pal, or investing in their lives but live
life in a way that teens/youth want to be like you. So Youth Pastors…grow a beard!
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