Singleness: Is it a gift or a choice?

I was sure that leading a discussion on Purity with teenage girls was awkward and difficult, this week as I am preparing for our Singles Bible study for next week, to talk about Singleness with singles...I think I am going to be more anxious about.

Yikes! 

Is Singleness a gift or is it a choice that we have made?

And I will post this link here about Sabatogging Relationships, I think it is fair for Males and Females to take a look at, what do you agree with..are we guilty of sabatoge or are we waiting on God?

For those that are married, were you looking for a spouse or did you wait on God?

Happy Six Months...oh I meant Five!

Oh how time flies...Darcy made the mistake thinking it was longer than it really was...ha ha!!!  So for those that are counting...or not!  It has been Happy Five months....

Personalities – Who am I?

So...I really feel like I have posted about this before...but once again I did another personality test...this could be the fifth one in the last two years...crazy and through all of these...I always feel that I can fit into the other box better. But overall, I think it is cool to continue to learn about oneself, in Identity, it is always interesting, especially when at different periods in your life that you can allow yourself to adapt to life situations...or you have changed as you continue to grow and learn about yourself. I love my ability to adapt to situations, I am great at sitting back and allowing myself to enjoy what is happening, wanting people to like me but also can pop into action make decisions and come with practical solutions to get through a situation.

The hardest thing about this test I just did...I had a hard time admitting my weaknesses...I stumbled upon being too proud to say I was proud....and too proud to admit my weaknesses, like being disorganized and somewhat scatterbrained. Yep, this is confession time of those that thought I had it all together...I learned about myself, to be as organized as I am...I have disorganization in my life that totally surprised me...and love when I have someone around to point out a detail that I missed. I build off of it...and it pushes me to try better. I think that through it all...I am someone that loves working with all personalities...it is something I love, and I don't like being that person that just says something and wants everyone to go along with it...I want to be the person, that can be told I am wrong, or that there is other ways in doing something or at least giving a chance to someone else to trying it their way...and not saying they are wrong, or saying that my way was better and I was right...they were wrong. I don't think that they is a right and wrong way to everything...but it is good to try different ways...see what works best...and some ways...adapting to a situation better than doing it the way I want to, even if it is out of my comfort. Unless I have strong opinions....I will voice them, I often would say...I speak truth without grace. But in my wise years...have figured out that...truth...needs grace behind it, sometime pointing out the incompetence of someone...isn't really the nicest thing to say. The needs I have for approval and acceptance are great...I don't like words of affirmation but need to know that there is acceptance, if I am questioned or fingers pointed back to me...or easily discouraged. Especially someone being vindictive in speaking bad about something I like or is quick to point out that their way is better in a selfish way, it hurts.

The fun part about it is that to ever have a good laugh...have someone point out what you do...like how you dress is you personality in a visual, especially telling someone how much you like to wear black because it goes well with everything, and then hear that there are personalities....that wear black because it works with everything! Then there are those that want to be cute and where bright and flashy things...and love it when people come up and tell them their hat is cute, or their scarf is beautiful. Don't forget those that dress plainly...or those that don't know what dressing comfortable or down is!

But it is all fun...so if you ever get a chance...do a personality test. Especially with someone close to you, you learn more about a person...more about what makes them tick...and more about you and how you can learn to work those personalities in your life.

It could...always be worse...

Let me tell you how God is good...

So during this period of Lent...I usually don't believe in the practice...not that I don't think it is good but I don't think I have much that distracts me from God...or that I put first and foremost to Him...besides sleep...and even at that..I don't get as much sleep as I need. But this season I took a different spin on it. At the beginning of Lent, our team took our volunteers on a day retreat...a time out of the city and into solitude, and silence...and a reflection of God. The plans that he has for us...and the heart of surrender we are willing to do for Him.

Some of the things I felt God speaking to me about was what my future has for me, healing for my heart, and a reminder that I am a Child of God, that He truly loves me for who I am...and who He made me to be, He is my Father.

Lamentations 3:22-28

I thank God everyday for the challenges He has allowed me to face, the unknowns, the hurts, and the lost relationships. Without all that I am not the person I am today. I am not hard in my emotions (avoiding them), I am not sheltered, and I have true lovingly friends and family in my life. Have you just been quick to get frustrated at God when all these things don't work out? Do you lose patience that God doesn't have the best for you at times. Worry and being upset...doesn't help God in His plans for you...the plans that are held in an open hand...in your open hand. Discernment and wisdom is given from Him, we are allowed to screw up, that is what makes our God loving, and offering forgiveness, no matter what. Seeking God in all that He has for you...is rewarding!

I am usually quick to take things personally, words and actions hurt me. I get frustrated easily...I wonder why people are so stupid. I know that I am not perfect...I have stupid moments too...but really... I can be too logical...black is black...white is white. In my time of Lent...I thought I am going to work on my attitude...I gave to God that I wanted to be a Cheerful Giver, giver of me, my time and resources. In other words I didn't want to be selfish of what I hold on to...for me. Yep, I prayed for patience and peace for all I am working on and not to get frustrated.

So...you know...praying for patience is often...the 'careful what you pray for' oh well let me tell you...as we are wrapping up with Lent...my patience of course has been tested...but the frustration part...not my finest hour! And you know...it could always be worse! There were a few moments...of you got to be kidding me?? I will tell you...ordering pizza has never been so difficult these last few weeks, moments between Darcy and I have been tested, issues and accusations have flown my way and in other worlds, working relationships have become stronger...miracles have happened. I have seen God work in amazing ways...and in the midst of it all...I have planned some amazing events this last month that really I have seen God at work in. I can say that God has brought together answers that I will never order pizza from a certain company, and Darcy and I have figured each other out in a few more ways. But God has been good, and He has been steadily making me stronger.

In the midst of it all...the speed bump came in and I was reminded that I need to look after myself and my heart. I thought in all that was happening I could be strong...and move on. God reminded me that I had to allow myself to be selfish at times, that I don't have to put a smile on my face and say that I am fine, and that I have be strong for anyone, and a moment of being real...with yourself and others...is a step of healing. I let me see one of my weaknesses...that I can pretend that I am good, when in reality...I hurt inside. I can try to distract myself...but I am only hurting myself. I learned that about myself...I had a moment of unravelling in the midst of life this last month. I saw myself freak out over small details of the event I was planning, I got overwhelmed and realized that I needed to deal with stuff. Avoidance is easy when you are busy...busy with life, people, or a fun job...that you totally don't have time to think. Time to think is good...it hit me and when it did...it hit me hard. A year of pent up tears came out...a year of living in fear and realizing the freedom that I had in that...can be a relief! It is like mourning a lost...this weekend...I found myself looking back at good memories at a period in my life that I thought...was the worse. It is a time of healing...

So that is where God has me in recent days...this time of Lent has been reflective and growing...for me!

So little things...

That make me happy...

Finding a gift sitting at my desk at work...

Finding out that from said gift I can blog from my the tips of my hands

Having someone special to share my life with at this moment!

Chocolate...mmm....makes me happy!!!

Oh coffee...can't forget it!!!

A few little things...

So Happy LOVE week to you all, there are a few things that make me happy this week!  Life is great, spectacular and wonderful!

One of the things we have been talking about in our Youth group that I am helping with is Relationships, thought since all that is going on, it is a good topic to talk about here.  What are somethings that you value in a relationship?  This could be friendships, family or a relationship.

Here are a few things

God
Love
Respect
Honesty
Communication
Availability
Patience
Boundaries

It is kinda hard to put these in any sort of order but it is one of those things that really puts a perspective on your relationships and how you view life.  It is good to reflect those in your life are they are friend that brings something to the table or are you serving them. 

Take time to reflect today, what you are looking for in relationships, what do you have to give...and what makes the relationships in your life...today...special the way you feel valued.

I think that love languages, speak big in these values and how you view your relationships, if you haven't already taken the evaluation of the love languages, http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ what speaks to you the most!

I know for me...I like Quality time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch are all top on my list, which Receiving Gifts, and words of affirmation, are really low on the list and I don't see a need for them.

So, there is something for your to chew on today, this week, happy love week!