Stress has not been a part of my life for a good part of the last year. I normally handle things well but it is usually one more thing that will push me over the edge. I sat back after prayer with my good friend Gwen yesterday and realized. Three weeks until I get on an airplane home. I need to pack, visit with family, clean out the office, unknown about what the future has for me, unknown about flights home...about how that could affect me, having no car, trying to visit friends here before I leave... the list goes on. There are some things that aren't even worth mentioning, those are the things that brought tears to me yesterday. I try not to complain here, things come to me in stride...most situations are difficult but I voice my opinion and wonders what unusual will happens next. I would like to announce...I don't want to see what happens next anymore.
I have had a sense this last week that being single on the mission field people are usually more than willing to help you out...or more often than not more willing to leave you out to dry and watch you flounder. I know that is extreme but to be honest, it is true.
I have been warned here that there are three things you don't mess with a missionary about that is family, housing and finances. Considering one doesn't really apply to me...the other two have been messed with...and I tell you it is not a fun experience. Adds way more stress than needed in any situation.
I know that I don't need to worry about anything but this week has felt like everything possible is coming at me. This month with unexpected expenses and the burden that this is the month that everyone is asking for money. This is not an exaggeration...culturally it is normal to ask for money...no matter what! For instance, the day of my accident...instead of going through insurance, I paid cash out of my pocket. That night I got home...my gate guard asked for money as his wife just had a baby and needed to pay the hospital bills. The week after my outside worker asked for a loan...not just once but continually throughout the whole week and is still knocking on my gate. The the next week as I was leaving my gate, another guard asked me for money. I also had a kid chase me down the road asking for money, this time it was too freaky for me and I was mad that I felt so vulnerable. Explaining to Kenyans that I have had unexpected bills like themselves come up...it is a choice for me between living this month...or not being able to buy bread and eggs, they don't get it. All these requests have been made in 2 1/2 weeks...
The other stress in housing...I have put it out that I have had the worse housing experience ever as a short term missionary. From moving three times in the first three weeks that I was here, to be given roommates unexpectedly, to having to move but no place to go, to finally having a place and then being asked to move again. I have once again been ask or much rather been told to move again. This time it happened the morning that I returned to Nairobi after a week of vacation and was asked where I was moving too. I was like the next move I do is to Canada. Not only once...I was told twice more in not so nice ways to move. It has come down to a fight...not that I am being stubborn but strongly feel that if I don't need to move...I am not going to pack up and live out of suitcase for the next three weeks.
So that is the stresses of life for me right now...I am praying and ask for prayer that I will have patience and grace in these situations.
So...I have to end my note with my blessings that I have received, God is good!
So when I was in Mombasa, I spent lots of time on the phone with the car guy, people from the office, you name it...it was the week that people wanted to get a hold of me, even my contact in Canada was urgently trying to get a hold of me to confirm flight details. It was funny.
One of the text messages I received was from the car guy (the guy I leased the car from before the accident). Well not sure if I told you the whole story about our conversation that we had the next day but it sort of went like this. The night before I prayed about it, I went to the meeting with peace in my heart that if I was to return the car, I would, if I had to pay for the damages I would. I had no one else to blame and I couldn't be mad at the situation. When I sat with Kmal, he insisted I was like his daughter (makes for a funny story another time) but he didn't want to have to be the mean tough one in taking away my car and making me pay. To both, I was like I understand and definitely will do both. He then started to do damage control, he was like I don't want you to be mad at me and I don't want you to leave here being upset...tell me now if you are upset. I was like...Kmal I understand completely that you have a business to run I am more than willing to do as you ask and I will continue to spread your name to those that need your services. I have had nothing but a good experience but no reason to be mad.
The sms that he sent me, was thank you Joelle you may use a free car whenever you wish, I want to help you out.
My first thought...right...
Never gave it a second thought until last week. One of my co workers here specifically called me up to tell me something from Kmal. Chris said...Joelle, I have to tell you, I had a meeting with Kmal this week and he wants me to tell you that you made a huge impact on him by your reaction to the accident and handling the details of the car after. You handled it with grace and that meant more to Kmal than you realize.
My second thought on the free car...ah...God is blessing me for being a servant.
So this week as I was told about moving and being asked for money, I was also told that I shouldn't be driving the vehicle I have either. I have been blessed with a free car from my cool car guy Kmal.
So encouragement to you...through all that you may experience good and bad God will bless you for it all. The jewels in your crown are being shined and put in place for the time you reach heaven. You may not always be blessed here on earth but the riches you have stored up in heaven will abound and God sees you as a perfect gift to those that you touch on earth.I have seen God at work in many ways here in Nairobi, some days I don't see me in that but it is not about me. I often wondered when I got here how I was impacting the mission field but I see it day to day in my relationships that I have built here either with the Kenyan staff or the missionary staff. Leaving them is going to be hard emotions have become bittersweet already.
***Just so you know...I do have funny stories from the weekend...they will be coming tomorrow***
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